Dead Birds - A bunch of wild west characters end up in a haunted house and the ghosts kill them off one by one. I watched this little flick alone with all the lights off, well, alone if you don't count the beer. Dead Birds is honestly the only movie to creep me out for over an hour and I had to take a break at the halfway point because it was just so intense. Sadly, the last act of the movie is a bit of a mess and lessens an otherwise well constructed and scary movie. 6.5/10
Body of Lies - I'm a married man with two kids but for some reason DiCaprio does it for me. Like Blood Diamonds, which I also enjoyed, Body of Lies is a well constructed movie with few surprises but plenty of tense scenes, good acting and top action. I forget the plot but it was something to do with terrorists and pineapples...or similar. Anyhow, worth a look. Better then a turban in the eye. 7/10
Benders Game- Cocking disappointing after the larb that were the first two Futurama movies. Benders Game was sorely lacking in laughs, jumped around and had no place in the overall narrative of the four movies. Bollocks of the highest order but perhaps better if served with cheese and vodka. 5/10
Balls of Fury- Surprisingly un-entertaining. I think this is the one with the table tennis, Christopher Walken and hot chick. Umm. That's it really. The chick was hot. 4/10
Rambo (the new one) - John Rambo kills the entire Burmese army with arrows and knives and shit. If you're a male this movie makes you believe in miracles, much like Sliding Doors or Sleepless in Seattle does for women (or whatever movies are big with women these days). When Stallone gets on the big shooter at the end you realise there's nowhere else for action movies to go, this is the pinnacle. For that reason only I have to dock points, Rambo ruins every action movie that will ever be made from this day forward. 8/10
Doomsday - I love post apocalyptic movies. I didn't like this. I think. Memory is a bit vague. Better go watch it yourself. To be on the safe side I'll include a picture and a 3/10.
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| Doomsday - Breasts and fire.....actually, I think I was a bit harsh on this movie |
Outpost- Nazi zombies kill mercs. Shit ending - I really fucking hate the trend of most horror movies these days to end on a down note. Everyone dies...wow, dramatic. 5/10
Abominable- Badly made costume attacks nubile girls and crippled guy. Costs were kept down by using the monster suit from Harry and the Hendersons. Some breasts. 3/10
And that about wraps it up. Join me next time for more movie reviewing brevity!
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