Raptor Suits Up Again

I remember when the first Iron Man came out and I walked out of the theatre thinking man that was awesome so it was with some trepidation that I walked into Iron Man 2.

Oh yeah check out my guns....and donuts

The story begins directly after Iron Man. We are introduced to Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) who’s dying father was cheated by Howard Stark. His death sets him on a revenge cycle and after a failed first attempt and a prison break out he is befriend by billionaire rival weapons manufacturer Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) enlists him to build him and ultimate suit to make Tony Stark look bad at his own Stark Expo. Vanko has other ideas and builds drowns instead. Mayhem ensures. The power core in his chest is also poisoning Stark and his father may be the key to saving him and the world.

The camera is where? Oh what if I stand like this? Do we need these two in the background?

Now Robert Downey Jr is still impressive as the charismatic Tony Stark and his chemistry with the rest of the cast was still spot on from witty dialogue to emotional moments it didn’t skip a beat. The character of James Rhodes (War Machine) has been replaced by Don Cheadle who I actually though was a better choice than Terrence Howards portrayal from the original Iron man. He seemed to give a more human and sympathetic version of Rhodes. Mickey Rourke still looks like a bad ass and while his Vanko isn’t as sinister as Jeff Bridges Iron Man villain he still quite intimidating. Sam Rockwell is still a great fun character actor and his Justin Hammer is portrayed as an overly ambitious and a jealous business man who is not afraid to bend the rules to show up his rival. Of course things get out of hand.

Did you touch my butt? I know you tricks.

Gwyneth Paltrow returns as the gracious and sorely tested Pepper Potts. I really feel for her having to deal with Stark, one tick there.  Also returning is Shield agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) who shows some teeth in this while still remaining calm and collected. Can anyone say bodies in the cellar? Finally a big surprise to me was cool Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury who plays a large part in revealing some of Starks back story and role in the Avengers program (To be seen I’d say). Oh and lets not forget Scarlet Johansson as kick ass and sexy shield agent Natalie Rushman who is keeping an eye on Stark for Nick Fury. Dame you Ryan Reynolds, dam you all to hell.

Iron Man flows smoothly in most parts from scene to scene. They defiantly took the formula from the previous move and used it here. That’s not a bad thing at all. As I mentioned before the chemistry between characters is great and there are numerous comedic moments to keep everyone amused. The action rattles off at a fast pace and yes to the tunes of ACDC and other rock songs. For anyone wanting slow-mo “300” type moves then this isn’t  the action for you.


So the CGI and practical FX? Well I can’t say there was much wrong here. The FX were awesome as usual. Top notch. There was one point were Downey was acting drunk in his Iron man suit and the helmet looked kind of dumb but hey he was acting drunk too so what ever. There were explosions fights between Vanko and Iron Man, Iron Man vs War machine, Iron Man Vs War Machine and Drones, Iron Man vs Drones and Iron man and War Machine Vs Drones. What more could you want. Really.

I find it hard to say anything bad about Iron Man 2. It is defiantly on par with the original film, and sitting alone in the cinema on the weekend I walked out with a grin on my face. Oh yes. There is a happy ending. I give this an 8.5/10. Bring on number 3!

Raptor Clashes in his Pants

I remember watching Clash of the Titans as a kid and thinking this was one of the best monster movies ever. EVER God dam it! Hey why would we question the opinion of a 12year old. Anyway looking back the movie was a little flawed here and there and possibly held together by duct tape in parts but overall still pretty cool. So when I heard a new version of Clash of the Titans was coming out with Sam “Blue Alien” Worthington as the lead of Perseus I was just a little excited. I’d heard bad things about the 3D version of it so I decided to give that a miss and see it in 2D. That made me $10 happier. Don’t take my word for the 3D version as I have no idea…ah what the hell, I’ll voice my unfounded fact less opinion too, the 3D was craptacular! There I said it.  So what did I think of it and compared to the original? Read on….

Hey do you think saw us with our skirts down?

First off, the cast in this is great. You have Sam as stated who is always a commanding screen presence. He puts on his action boots here and goes for the throat. Two thumbs up. I heard he did a lot of his stunt work too which always helps the action shots. Next you have Liam Neeson as Zeus and Ralf Fiennes as his brother Hades. There’s some great acting right there. The story pretty much pivots on the two characters battle for dominance on the Olympian Gods and the mortals. Zeus feels betrayed by the mortals and wishes to teach them a lesson, Hades on the other hand wants to overthrow Zeus and make the humans his slaves. Caught in the struggle are Calibos (Jason Flemming) Perseuses father and the man who began the mortals war against the Gods and Io played by a cute Gemma Arterton, Who? I don’t know she was cute anyway. Io is a woman cursed with immortality for refusing to have rumpy pumpy sexy with a God. Go the bra burning! She pretty much helps and advises Perseus through his quest. Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) role is probably one of the biggest differences from the original movie. Where in the first she was the love interest and the driving force of Perseuses quest she is now just part and victim of the battle.

Oh uh hmmm, yes I see, yes. If we cut here here, lift here, stretch here I think we can make you a star. OH GOD! Your head fell off!

On it’s own the new Clash of the Titans makes a great action movie. There are battles and fights, monsters and stunts left right and centre. The CGI effects are good although the medusa was a little plastic in her facial features she was still pretty good. What this version of the movie did better than the original I thought was the concept of the group of Greek heroes gathering together to journey on an epic quest. Of course most don’t make it but that is part of it. Heroic, tragic and epic. They also included in the mix a Dijin named Sheikh Suleiman who was very cool.

Gemma Arterton likes Chocolate...I hope that's chocolate.

Where it lacked from the original was in depth of story. Where in the first we saw more of Andromeda’s plight, Caliboses back story and the bickering between the Gods, this has mostly been flushed out for a smoother ride. It’s not terrible as it does make the ride quicker but still you kind feel like you wanted a little more.

Halloz littlz peoplez

So overall I’d have to say I enjoyed the new version. It had good pace, lacking in some areas but a fun ride. I give it a 8/10.

Raptors Short Shorts:

Paranormal Activity:

I sat down to watch this in the dark and alone as instructed by Gavor. Congratulations, it creeped me out for the rest of the night. Stupid movie go bang now! The character of Micha annoyed the crap out of me. Here is Katie telling him that bad shits going to happen and it’s been happening to her all her life but no he decides to be a macho duchebag and “handle himself”...er it himself.  Anyway. Idiot.  When someone says we can get you a demonologist specialist to help you, you say yes thanks sir would you like me to bend over now. Anyway, still pretty good for the creepiness. 7/10.

7^th Moon:

This one was really lack lustre and by the books not to mention getting the car bogged twice to get the movie started and the guys in white makeup playing the ghosts were really kind of dumb. Amy Smart was in it, that’s kind good right? Well yeah but she needed more kit off. All that agree say “I”…good then. I give this one a 5/10.

Silent Hill (2006)

I don't know a single thing about Silent Hill the video game beyond the 10 minutes I played of #4 (The Room) and the 20 minutes I played of #2 (supposedly the best of the lot). To be fair, I played both on a PC and apparently the ports are as dodgy as your 15-year-old 486, so I always let it slide that both games sucked hard. I simply fucking hated them.

Flash forward to 2010 and I'm sitting at home in my best jodhpurs deliberating upon what to watch next when I notice a move called Silent Hill. The only reason I missed this on release was my antipathy toward the game series, or so I surmised because I can't remember it being released. Anyhoo, off I went into the video world of Silent Hill once more. And fuck, it was good.

I have no mouth yet I must scream. And shout. Let it all out.

See, there's this little girl who dreams of a place called Silent Hill and tries sleep walking off of cliffs. Naturally this worries her parents a little so the mother (Radha Mitchell) ...


...whisks her off to Silent Hill for some personal PI work. Here's some more of my PI work into Radha...



Anyway, moving along, they are chased by a cop, crash, and all three end up trapped in Silent Hill. The daughter goes missing after the crash and the story becomes one of searching, being hunted and seeing a bunch of pretty cool stuff. Except to the characters, to them that shit is pretty scary. There's guy with a pyramid for a head (funnily enough called pyramid head by SH fans) and a bunch of things that scuttle along the ground making a funny noise. It's better than I make it sound.

Eventually mum and the cop run into the remaining inhabitants of Silent Hill and it turns out they're remnants of the population, evacuated after a fire started in the coal mine beneath the town. Over the years they've gone batshit religious and like to hunt down and burn witches among other things. The scene where the key characters are pursued by pyramid head up to the church sanctuary and he skins one of the crazy churchies, is simply an awesome spectacle.

In the end the daughter is rescued but she's found to be the good side of a little girl possessed by a demon many years previous to the movie. The possessed little girl is now a grown woman, a warped and twisted cripple with scary powers of demonage. Seems the town people tried to burn her once and now she's really pissed off.

Welcome - come for the fog, stay for the crazy

In a hectic finale, the cop is burned alive (graphically), the demon possessed woman goes on a rampage of slaughter in the church (not graphically enough) and the woman plus her daughter escape. As a little aside to the main story, we also see the husband searching for both wife and daughter. He talks to people near Silent Hill and even visits with the local cops from a nearby town, but it's a totally different place. No fog, no monsters, no church. In the end he goes home empty-handed, as does his wife. But while he is in a normal house, she and the daughter are in a house filled with and surrounded by mist. Are they dead already? It's your call because the movie ends.

So I really liked Silent Hill, sure it was long and the acting was so-so, but the story was pretty good and the atmosphere appropriately eerie. Everything else such as effects, direction and scenery was above expectations also and in some cases pretty darn good. Silent Hill for me was like heading out to a bar for a few quiet drinks and coming home later wearing a different pair of pants and a sombrero. You thought it might be an ok time, but it turned out to be a ripper.

8.5/10