Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Raptor throws up on Feast 3

What the fuck! I could end the review on that. Just What the Fuck!! Lets add some more exclamation marks too !!!!!. Now before I begin lets talk about the first Feast movie directed by Mike Tristano. I loved this movie. It was original, clever and funny and while it slapped the audience in the face at times it didn’t take them for granted. Great movie. Well done….so back to Feast 3: The happy Finish. What the Fuck!

I guess she saw the movie
I guess she saw the movie
I hated this movie. I rarely say that but I just walked away from this thinking this was the worst pile of dog crap that ever crept out of some mangy bitch with piles. I didn’t care about the main characters and when someone rocked up that you though hey, this may go somewhere, they get killed…again…and again….aaaaand again. “But” I hear you say, “that’s the point of the movie, it goes against type”. The point is it has no point? Are you kidding me? My two year old nephew could write a script better than this. And then there is the ending….let me just say What the Fuck! The few saving graces were some nudity and some funny gore gags and FX. That’s about it.

 This movie was a whole excuse for the writers being unable to come up with anything intelligible. Let’s just say that Feast 3 left me unsatisfied and calling for some Pepto-Bismol for a case of A grade heart burn. 2/10.


  1. Easily the worst movie I've seen in the last 12 months. I agree totally with eveything above and more. 0/10 for a flaming pile of old hospital waste; and the smoke is blowing right into your kitchen while you're trying to cook a nice souffle.

  2. I have to disagree with your description of this movie being the worst pile of dog crap that ever crept out out of some mangy bitch with piles. Sorry but it wasn't that good.

    I have no idea why anyone would want to make an obscenity such as Feast 3. If they were gonna put in the time anyway, why not make something at least passable. It couldn't be any harder than this junk. And why the hell would anyone distribute it as well? One huge collective brain fart with this so called movie.

    1. Finally got a chance to see Tristano's "Feast" and it was as the critic wrote, very funny, clever and original. By all means, see that one when you get a chance...