Raptor becomes Immortal

 

 So back from Gavor and my hiatus I had to decide what would be my come back review. Well how about Greek Mythology. Let’s hit that! Wait! No I mean…ok poor choice of words.

I was pretty exited about seeing this due to no small fact that it resembled Zack Snyder’s 300. I mean the trailer had all this fighting and a bow that shoots glowing arrows and wait there was fighting and let’s not forget the fighting.

 

 

The story starts off with Theseus played by Henry Cavill who has been getting awesome Kung-Fu skills under the tutelage of a disguised Zeus (ok not kung-fu just battle skills still awesome). Living by a sea side community set in some cliffs, little do they know that King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is looking for the Epirus Bow and his army is going to go straight through them on their way to Mount Tartarus to release the Titans. He had previously kidnapped the oracle Phaedra (Freida Pinto) and her maids to help him but they refused. Anyway Theseus gets captured, escapes with oracle and the thief Stavros (Stephen Dorff, Yeah I know right! The Dorf! What the hell!) and locate the bow in the Minotaurs’ Labrynith but it gets stolen by Hyperion and so off then off to the big battle at the mountain. Now Zeus forbids the Gods to interfere in the quest but alas the Gods are rambunctious and scantly clad porn stars except for Athena (Isabel Lucas) who is hot and Zeus gets all mad and kills one of them so the gods get all sad and angst ridden. Yes, the worst kind of angst. The one in the pants. That means the heroes end up on there own. Gasp!

 
 Immortals was directed by Tarsem Singh who also directed The Cell. If you have seen that you can see a lot of his signature on this. There are a lot of dream like sequences and imagery that looks like it has been taken out of a renaissance painting depicting idealised Gods and heroes. That probably explains why most of the men run around bare chested. It is a visual feast for the eyes but it can be distracting at times. As far as the performances go, Cavill was fine as Thesues. He did try a heroic morale raising speech towards the end but it felt pretty forced. I liked Rourke as Hyperion, he was a brutish bastard who didn’t give a fuck what the Gods thought and did everything he could to let them know of it. Good job there. Dorff played a side kick and he did it well. Freida Pinto was basically eye candy. She really didn’t do much at all. The gods themselves were just lack luster for most of the movie, except at the end when they were kickin’ it with the Titans or intervening. Otherwise they sat around looking angry, sad or confused in various iterations.

Emoting...hard

There was also one plot hole that irked me. The bow was invented by the God as the only weapon that could kill another God. Right. Good. So at the end Gods are killing Titans and Titans killing Gods with their bare hands or random weapons. What the hell happened there? Did someone pull the plug on their immortal status? Alright a pet peeve there. Also I didn’t like the Minotaur. Spoiler alert: he was just a man with a crappy head gear. Grrr I hate that.

 

What did I think overall? It isn’t a perfect film and had a few dull moments but overall it kept me entertained and there were some booby shots from our leading ladies so. I give Immortals 6.5 out of 10 for a good try.




Raptors Breaking his Day

Daybreakers goes on a great premise, the world has been converted to Vampires and there are only a few humans left. This is a problem for Vampires since they need blood to survive….because they are Vampires see. It’s just like if all the cows in the world suddenly died how would we get our Macas? McTofu burger anyone?

It's really not the Matrix and 28 days later at all....FYI Yo!

So the Vampires go about farming humans for blood but knowing this isn’t sustainable they also look for a blood substitute. This has not gone well like exploding of said vampire not gone well. Charles Bromley (Sam Neil) is head of the corporation which farms the blood and his lead scientist Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawk) is the lead scientist working on the blood substitute. Dalton has become disillusioned with his failures and when he runs into a group of human survivors led by Audrey Bennett (Claudia Karvan) and decides to help them. Bennett takes them to Lionel Cormac (Willem Dafoe) who is leader of a camp of survivors. He used to be a Vampire but cured himself by accident using….THE POWER OF THE SUN….yes that’s right. Now Dalton is trying to replicate this. Oh vampires that don’t get blood for a long while go feral and turn into these half bat creatures.

I'm soooo pretty! Oh so pretty. So pretty and witty and gaaaaay.

Daybreakers is directed by the brothers Peter and Michael Spierig who brought us Undead and is largely and Australian production. It’s quite polished and has a very dark dystopian feel to it, sort like Ethan Hawks older movie Gattica.  Ethan Hawk and Dafoe put some effort into in to their characters and Sam Neil is quite insidious as Bromley, he seems to do subtle evil pretty well. Must be all that practice at being the Anti-Christ from Omen 3. Claudia Karvan gives us some female acting muscle here. We also get Vince Colosimo as a scientist here. What? Wasn’t he in the Wog Boy? Ok what ever. Finally with a minor part we get Isabel Lucas the girl that played the sex transformer chick from Transformers 2. She’s basically eye candy. All in all the performances were adequate. I wouldn’t call this Oscar wining acting but good enough.

Isabel Lucas. Role: Eye Candy.

On the Special FX side we do get some crazy bat vampires. There are explosions, car chases, gun fights, a few bodies getting ripped up and lots of blood. There are also some freakish scenes of vampires lining up for Coffee/blood or kid vampires just hanging, as you do or peoples eyes lighting up when the lights go out breifly waiting for a train.
I did like the plot overall. It grabbed me more towards the end when the true version of the cure was show but I’d have to say the last 2-3 minutes kind of spoiled it some. It was if they wanted to tie off the loose ends. It was virtually the last few mins. They didn’t need that.
Overall the Daybreakers was quite watchable with some good ideas put on screen and some competent acting. I give it a 7/10.

Centurion (2010)

I'm not sure how to review Centurion: on the one hand it's a basic action/travel tale movie with gratuitous violence from the 300 mould and little to no plot, direction, ending or character development.  On the other hand it's all of the above things. You can view those points as negatives if you're looking for the next Mulholland Drive, or positives if you want to kill a couple of hours watching grown men in costumes chop each other arms off. Personally I took a bit of a positive view, and it paid off. I had never heard of Centurion until after watching The Expendables and reading reviews with comparisons between the two i.e. no plot, no characterisation, lots of loud noises and death. Ever the fan of Romans (especially after the epic Spartacus) I was sold on the idea and signed up.

It doesn't matter what's going on here, you only need to know that gratuitous killing is but moments away.

Centurion is a movie of many disjointed parts. Characters come and go, the story has no direction and we're never quite sure what this is all about. It's kind of good in that a few cliches are avoided, such as a big battle of retribution at the end or portraying either side as the real bad guys. It's kind of bad in that the movie ends and you wonder what is was all about. The answer is sword porn. Centurion is really only an excuse to take swords waved at people and lots of limbs sliced off. The methods of slaughter depicted are many and varied: decapitation, lots of throat cutting, disembowelment, stabbed, stabbed with a spear, clubbed, burned and so on. It's done quite well except for that overwrought blood thing from 300.

Quintus, just moments away from gutting another faceless extra

None of the actors excel and none of the chicks are especially hot. We have Michael Fassbender as the titular good guy Centurion Quintus Dias, Liam Cunningham from Dog Soldiers as a guy called Brick, Olga Kurylenko as the main bad guy...or girl as it is here, Noel Clarke from Dr Who as token black guy with very non-period accent, and Imogen Poots from 28 Weeks Later as some girl who lives in the woods.


Ultimately, Centurion is a drinks night movie or something best enjoyed while a little un-sober. It doesn't matter in the end whether the story made sense (or even existed), because I don't think it was supposed to. As an exercise in simple entertainment, Centurion has achieved it's objective.

6/10

Summary: An action winner with no substance past the opening credits. Leave brain at the door but bring in your 6-pack.

Raptors Dream

How many times do you go to a movie and think that was really cool? Ok given I’m amused by shiny rocks but Inception was one of these movies.

Written and directed by Christopher Nolan who is really heading up there on my favourite directors list. The movie could a have dissolved in a complete mess and it’s kudos to Nolan that he manages to keep the story of tight and on track without letting the ideas and concepts of dreams and reality break down and wonder off.

There go the Armani shoes

Inception revolves around the basis that people are able to enter other peoples’ dreams and through various means steal information from the person being invaded. The movie itself revolves around not stealing information but implanting and idea in a process known as Inception that is thought to be impossible. Leonardo DiCaprios’ character Cobb is approached by Sato (Ken Watanabe) the owner of a large energy corporation which is being threatened by Robert Fishers(Cillian Murphy) Multi Corporation. He proposes the that Cobbs uses Inception to implant an idea into Fischers mind to pull apart his corporation and in return Sato will clear Cobbs name of allegations of having killed his wife and so can return back to America and his two children. Cobbs then goes about putting a team together and planning and executing a classic heist with more twists than a bendy straw.

This movie does pivot around Leonardos’ Cobb and his relationship with his wife. It literally, and without revealing too much, becomes the pivot point of the move towards the end. The style and coolness does come from the characters and their nick names such as the Architect, The Point Man, Forger, The Extractor. This was all part of the marketing campaign but it also prevalent in the movie too. The character of Cobbs is a broken man. As mentioned before he was unjustly accused of his wife’s murder and had to flee the country. His wife played by Marion Cotillard has now, due to his guilt, become a real and unknown quantity in the dream world and due to this he has tried to keep this a secret from the rest of the team. Cobbs partner and right hand man is Arthur played by Joseph Gorden-Levitt and man I think will be one of the great character actors of our time. It must be true since I said it. He’s building himself a nice resume with Brick and now Inception. The new Architect, the person who builds a dream environment, is Ariadne (Ellen Page) who is brought in after they loose their original. She stumbles onto Cobbs’ secret and becomes his pseudo psychiatrist.  Sato (Watanabe) brings some class to the heist as well and you’re never quite sure where his loyalties lie until the later half of the movie and the last part is really a kicker with him and Cobb. Finally there is the little surprise of the Forger, Eames played by Tom Hardy who literally takes on an army in one of the dream “levels”. Now while all that characters were pretty cool the only one that was really fleshed out to a great depth was Cobb. All the others had some back story but not near to any degree as Cobb. Although Cillians’ Robert Fischer story with his father is revealed in depth as well and is used as a plot device to persuade the character into accepting the inception idea.

And this is the scene where we go Full-Michael Jakson

One of the most important parts of Inception is the way dreams work and are used to create tension. Basically dream time is quicker than real time. Say ten times quicker, so you can do things ten times as fast. You can also have dreams within dreams and within dreams again. For every level of dreams the time becomes ten times quicker again. The heist involves three layers of dreams but there is also a subconscious layer they call Limbo where time literally stretches for years and you could live a life time before waking up. All this is used in a car chase which filters down to sub dream layers in a brilliant execution of events. Other little things such as if you get bumped in real life the dream also bumps or if you need to go to the bathroom then it rains in the dream.

The music score was amazing. In the dream it uses this menacing bass baritone tuba like sound which seems to be setup to warn the user when ever the characters are within a dream or something massive is happening such as scenery being changed. This is also where Inception shines in the creation of the dream world. It’s not overdone and you wont see weird creatures or giant robots but the environment itself morphs and changes but this is used sparingly. Also action! There is action and thrills galore. If you want gun fights, Car chases and everything in-between then it has it here.

Inception will be a purchase for me once it hits DVD/Blue-ray. I highly recommend you see this if your looking for a great thriller that will leave you thinking about it way after you’ve left the movies. I give this a 9/10 bazingas!

Raptor gets Hunted

I’m one of those people that liked Predator 2 so sue me. I also didn’t like Predators vs Aliens but I though PvA2 was pretty good. See first sentence. So I decided to check out Predators brought to us by one of my favourite directors Robert Rodriguez but not directing this time but producing, instead we have Nimrod Antal. So what did I know going in? Well there would be no Schwarzenegger and there would be Adrian Brody as the lead.  There would be multiple Predators, a gazillion I hear. It would be set in an alien jungle and there would be a bunch of bad asses tagging along.

Oh Snap! You got served!

The story went like this: dangerous people from our world are picked up and dropped onto this planet so that the Predators can go hunting. They then try to figure out what happening, survive and turn the tables against the Predators, so really the first movie but with more Predators.

The Predator hounds are pretty horny...hehehe what?

Did it suffer because of the lack of good old Arny? I have to say defiantly not, I didn’t want to see another Arnold film, I wanted to see something a bit different and I pretty much got that with Adrian Brody. He brought a lot of screen presence to the film and he buffed up even on his wiry frame. He is quick like the Minx. He character Royce is ex-military turned merc and is jaded by life and believes that you can’t count on anyone else but yourself. This ideal is questioned by Alice Bragas’ Isabelle, a sniper from some war who lost her spotter on her last mission.  Other characters include the crazy felon Stans (Walton Goggins), Nikolai a Chechnyan soldier who is the 2^nd rate stand in for Schwarzenegger, a cool Yakuza by the name of Hazo (Louis Ozawa Changchien), Mombasa an African soldier and Danny Trejo one of Rodriguez favourite actors and soon to be in the up coming Machete. Then the black sheep and they guy who doesn’t seem to fit into it all is Topper Grace playing a scitterish fish out of water, Dr Edwin.  I guessed it and you will too as to what his bad habit is but he turns out to be a bit of a bastard. One of the cool but disappointing cast members was Laurence Fishburne who played a previous survivor.  His part felt a bit short and expendable. I guess he was there to explain the fact that they were all seriously fucked.  Who knew? The group worked well as a whole and for an action movie there is some character development unless they got killed off early.

 

The most touching part of the movie was the love story between Predator and man.

Now let’s get to the Predator. I lied. There weren’t a gazillion, there were only four. Three of them are from one Predator race while the last is the seemingly classic Predator who they have captured. The three Predators had quite distinct looks and hunt in different ways and they also set traps to lure and weaken their prey. They have their big face offs and such as the Hazo with a samurai sword vs wrist blades which is all pretty cool. Even the classic Predator get’s a few licks in with one of them although not fairing to well. 

Oh come back, I just want to play with your spine.

The SFX were pretty good all round. I can’t really complain at all. The predator hounds looked awesome and were pretty viciouse. There was also a spaceship, laser blasts left right and centre and even a net trap. Dam that Wookie. There was a bit of gore even Predator gore and included such hits as stabbing, beheadings and blaster wounds, overall nothing that would make you to squeamish though. And finally no boobies to be seen unless you count Predator and Brody bare chests.

Mucho Mucho Man. I want to be a Mucho man!

I have to say I liked this instalment of the Predator franchise. It when back to it’s roots but with a bit of a twist. The first act was built up at loping pace and the final act brought it all home. I would defiantly be interested in seeing a Predators 2 if there is talk about it. I give this one an 8/10 for action in your eye.

Raptor Takes a Peak into the 8th Dimension

I do like 80s Sci-fi movies. Mainly for the fact that they were still quite eccentric and hadn’t conformed quite to what we perceive as your typical sci-fi today and the fact that the fashion sucked so hilariously! What movie embodies 80s Sci-fi in your mind? Blade runner? No too good. The Thing? More horror really. Battle Beyond the Stars? Oh yeah, now we are getting somewhere but what I’m talking about it is The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. This has it all, 80’s hair styles, 80’s cloths a who’s who of 80s actors and let’s not forget 80s sensibilities like every hero is in a band. Hey it was acceptable in the 80s.

Anyone wanna rockout with your cock out?..ok no then.

Buckaroo starts off with a great little voice over about how Buckaroo, our hero played by Robocops’ Peter Weller, grew up with a Japanese Scientist Professor Hikita (Robert Ito). It reminded me of a narrative to a documentary about the great American pioneers poetic and matter-of-fact. We then are introduced to the adult Buckaroo who is now a Scientist/Brain Surgeon/Test pilot/Rock Star and adventurer. Wow, women want him and men want to be him. His band, the Hong Kong Cavaliers, are all scientist and adventurers themselves as well as being musicians. With Hikita, Bukaroo has developed a device that allows him to pass through the 8^th dimension….with a car and through solid objects. When they do this they discover rebel aliens locked away by these Jamaican like aliens. They give the Earth an ultimatum, stop the Rebels from escaping or they blow the planet up. What’s a Scientist/Brain Surgeon/Test pilot/Rock Star/Adventure to do but save the world.

Actually I admit, this is a cool shot.

Bukaroos’ cast is really quite large and include Jeff Goldblum (the Fly), John Lithgow as crazy scientist, Clany Brown the bad Highlander from Highlander, Christopher Loyd (Back to the Future) and Ellen Barkin as Penny, Bukaroos’ love interest. You’d probably notice a smattering of other faces that you’ll recognize too. All of them play this for fun and there isn’t a mean bone in the script at all. There are typical 80s scenes like the band getting all rock star and singing and did I mention he knows the America President? Yeah who knew.

I know what your thinking you dirty Fly boy

The SFX are not too bad, we get bug eyed aliens, weird organic ships and little poisonous spider bullets but l some of it is also pretty “oh deary me” too like the trip into the 8^th dimension or the protective masks they put on at one point (think chipped mirrored masquerade ball). You can’t blame them really, I’m sure all the kids were doing back then.

Unfortunately I’m sad to report there was no nudity what so ever in this movie. Alas we see no Ellen Barkin bits but she does so some nice leg action, phwaar. Overall I did like the movie and good natured attitude. I give this one a 6.5/10.

Raptors Mega Day!

Recently I watched the B grade movie of Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. Why? Because I’m a sucker for both punishment and giant monster movies.

Oh yeah, full on Plane eating!

Both the two monstrosities are released from some glacier after being trapped for hundreds of thousands of years meh why not millions, that’s a number too, and carry on the battle of eating planes and oil rigs um WTF? Yeah that’s pretty much how it all starts. Some scientist in a sub played by 80s pop princes Deborah Gibbs see some soldiers in a chopper cracks open some ice with some fancy charge thingy, that’s the technical term. The first thing the octopus does is take down an oil rig. Why? Who knows, maybe it looked like it’s mommy. The Mega shark then jumps some 2 to 3km out of the water and eats a passenger plane…yeah that’s right. Obviously physics or for that matter logic are part of this movie. At some point you get Lorenzo Lamaz as some super army general called Allan, he orders the navy after the beasts and yes you get it, get eaten. Nom, nom, nom. Eventually they decide to use phermons to lure the beast to America and Japan where they well eat people and then decide to use the same tactic to lure them together so they can have an unholy union and make sharktopus babies or eat each other.

Oh yeah, full on Bridge eating!

Well that’s all very well and good but how good were the special FXs hey. They must have been monumentally awesome! Er not really. They slid from passable to very average to gauge your eyes out crappy. They also had a habit of reusing scenes. I swear I saw the same scene of a soldier guarding a secret base three times. Also the ship and submarine bridges were in a electricity plant or something. I guess the budget didn’t cover that.

Oh yeah, full Shark on Octopus action!

The acting was ok for a B grade movie you just had to roll your eyes a lot to get past most of it. Believe me at the end of it I thought that it was the world spinning and not me.

This movie was sucktastic. Hey watch it if you have nothing else better to do like knitting or trying to see how long you can make a Mintis wrapper. I give this a 3.5/10.

Raptor uses some Ink

So what do Story Tellers, Path finders and Incubi have to do with a father and a little girl? Well they all come together in the movie Ink.  The scene is set at the begging with sleeping folk being visited initially by Story Tellers who appear in flashes of light and bring good dreams to those they touch. Then shortly after we see the incubi emerge out of shadows, they bring nightmares to those they touch.  Finally a hooded twisted and monstrous figure emerges named Ink who steals the soul of a little girl called Emma. He wants to join the Incubi and the payment is Emma. So starts a battle with the story tellers, and after Ink escapes, a search with a quirky Path Finder named Jacob to locate him. Leiv a rogue Story Teller gets to him first but surrenders to him to save the child. Mean while Emmas estranged father John seems to be the lynch pin to all of this but unfortunately was involved in a car accident.

I know what it looks like but I'm only stealing the girls soul.

There, an interesting start to a bizarre quirky film. Ink is at it’s core a movie about redemption and a metaphor for the subconscious battle of Ego over Id or even good versus evil or what ever the hell you call it. Doing the right thing or continuing to take the selfish path. This is where John (Christopher Soren Kellys) character and the character of Ink come into play. Meanwhile the interaction between these two forces is given physical meaning by the Story tellers and the Incubi.

Jacob: Looks like the guy was hit by a car. Girl: It's a dog you blind idiot!

Ink was directed by Jamin Winans and, considering it low budget, has done quite a brilliant job. The story harkens back to a Donnie Darko feel which you may note by the end. The movie is stylish, fast paced and the characters are solid. You want the Story Tellers to succeed. You want Ink to find his humanity again. I did sympathise with Inks character, as we find out more about him, seems to be a product of his own past actions. Jessica Duffy was quite endearing as Liev, portraying her bravely yet without an ounce of animosity to Ink in which she sees the pains of his past and sets an example to Emma who starts off frightened but with coaxing from Leiv brings out the “fierce lioness” in her. Also a worthy note was the Path Finder Jacob played by Jeremy Make. The quirky nature of this character really appealed to me. He walks around with tape across his eyes, counting out an obscure beat but as his name he sees paths and as he states “the flow must be stopped”.  Of course everyone who doesn’t see the path is an idiot, of course.

I'm happy...in my pants!

It’s rare that you see something cool in a movie now days but the story tellers and Incubi were awesome. I mentioned that the story tellers appeared in flashes of light.  It’s simple yet it did perk up your WTF meter at the begging of the movie. Now the Incubi are something and bizarre at that. Dressed in black, their sinister grinning faces are projected on screens held in front of their faces. Thing is this is the only emotion they show. They reminded me of the future world in 12 Monkeys. The fights held in this out of phase world were quite spectacular. Anything that is broken by them will instantly reform since they the combatants are not affecting the physical object but just the projection of it. Chairs, banisters, windows, anything will reform.

Overacting death aaaand scene. Thats a wrap!

Now it still is a low budget film, while the acting is good and the movie looks far more polished than it’s low budget beginnings, there are the occasional scenes where it does stand out. Not that this matters too much as the story is strong enough to carry it through.

Ha-row Jessica Duffy]

Ink has an underlying emotional urgency running through it, some people may not like this. I did and I was impressed. Sounds obscure? Good. I give it 8/10.

[REC] (both versions)

Spanish jazz-hands

Watching the American version of REC (I'll be dispensing with the [] from this point on) was a bit like eating cheap easter eggs. They look the same, weigh the same and feel the same - but the taste is just short of chocolate. Sometimes disastrously short. Both versions are about a surprise zombie outbreak (is there any other kind?) in an apartment building as documented by a pretty girl and her camera man as they follow a fire fighting unit and record their shift (at night of course). Be warned, this movie is of the first-person cam style like Cloverfield or Diary of the Dead. Personally I love the first-person style when done right, but it's not for everyone.

Over the course of the movie, various of the residents are bitten and infected or torn apart by ravenous zombies. Then the other characters are killed off and finally it's all down to the girl and her camera man. Turns out someone was running experiments in the attic, which became infection ground zero when the subject escaped.

I watched the original Spanish version a couple of years ago and loved it. Naturally, if you dislike first-person movies you shouldn't bother to begin with, otherwise I'm confident horror and zombie fans will agree with me. The characters were interesting enough but more importantly the action and suspense carried this flick all the way through. Doing a first-person movie is like doing a first-person novel, rather than being used as a cheap gimmick, the style must suit the story and not be shoehorned in. The things you can do with first-person - such as only show what the person could see - must be used to further the story and add to the tension or doubt.  Since we can't always see what's happening and we only know what the protagonist knows it sometimes forces us to use our imagination and thus fill in the gaps. Plenty happens off-camera in REC, with lots more being shown in flashes or glimpses, adding to the value of re-watching later. As a matter of fact, I feel like watching it right now.

The remade American version is pretty much the same as the original, except in English and with a different cast. For some reason it's also not as good. I can't put my finger on it and perhaps it's simply because the American lead actress wasn't as good as the Spanish one, or maybe because I'd already seen REC and the remake was literally a carbon copy. I should probably mention at this point that the American remake is called Quarantine, not REC.



REC the original gets 8/10 from me, the remake maybe 6.5/10. 

Raptor Suits Up Again

I remember when the first Iron Man came out and I walked out of the theatre thinking man that was awesome so it was with some trepidation that I walked into Iron Man 2.

Oh yeah check out my guns....and donuts

The story begins directly after Iron Man. We are introduced to Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) who’s dying father was cheated by Howard Stark. His death sets him on a revenge cycle and after a failed first attempt and a prison break out he is befriend by billionaire rival weapons manufacturer Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) enlists him to build him and ultimate suit to make Tony Stark look bad at his own Stark Expo. Vanko has other ideas and builds drowns instead. Mayhem ensures. The power core in his chest is also poisoning Stark and his father may be the key to saving him and the world.

The camera is where? Oh what if I stand like this? Do we need these two in the background?

Now Robert Downey Jr is still impressive as the charismatic Tony Stark and his chemistry with the rest of the cast was still spot on from witty dialogue to emotional moments it didn’t skip a beat. The character of James Rhodes (War Machine) has been replaced by Don Cheadle who I actually though was a better choice than Terrence Howards portrayal from the original Iron man. He seemed to give a more human and sympathetic version of Rhodes. Mickey Rourke still looks like a bad ass and while his Vanko isn’t as sinister as Jeff Bridges Iron Man villain he still quite intimidating. Sam Rockwell is still a great fun character actor and his Justin Hammer is portrayed as an overly ambitious and a jealous business man who is not afraid to bend the rules to show up his rival. Of course things get out of hand.

Did you touch my butt? I know you tricks.

Gwyneth Paltrow returns as the gracious and sorely tested Pepper Potts. I really feel for her having to deal with Stark, one tick there.  Also returning is Shield agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) who shows some teeth in this while still remaining calm and collected. Can anyone say bodies in the cellar? Finally a big surprise to me was cool Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury who plays a large part in revealing some of Starks back story and role in the Avengers program (To be seen I’d say). Oh and lets not forget Scarlet Johansson as kick ass and sexy shield agent Natalie Rushman who is keeping an eye on Stark for Nick Fury. Dame you Ryan Reynolds, dam you all to hell.

Iron Man flows smoothly in most parts from scene to scene. They defiantly took the formula from the previous move and used it here. That’s not a bad thing at all. As I mentioned before the chemistry between characters is great and there are numerous comedic moments to keep everyone amused. The action rattles off at a fast pace and yes to the tunes of ACDC and other rock songs. For anyone wanting slow-mo “300” type moves then this isn’t  the action for you.


So the CGI and practical FX? Well I can’t say there was much wrong here. The FX were awesome as usual. Top notch. There was one point were Downey was acting drunk in his Iron man suit and the helmet looked kind of dumb but hey he was acting drunk too so what ever. There were explosions fights between Vanko and Iron Man, Iron Man vs War machine, Iron Man Vs War Machine and Drones, Iron Man vs Drones and Iron man and War Machine Vs Drones. What more could you want. Really.

I find it hard to say anything bad about Iron Man 2. It is defiantly on par with the original film, and sitting alone in the cinema on the weekend I walked out with a grin on my face. Oh yes. There is a happy ending. I give this an 8.5/10. Bring on number 3!

Raptor Clashes in his Pants

I remember watching Clash of the Titans as a kid and thinking this was one of the best monster movies ever. EVER God dam it! Hey why would we question the opinion of a 12year old. Anyway looking back the movie was a little flawed here and there and possibly held together by duct tape in parts but overall still pretty cool. So when I heard a new version of Clash of the Titans was coming out with Sam “Blue Alien” Worthington as the lead of Perseus I was just a little excited. I’d heard bad things about the 3D version of it so I decided to give that a miss and see it in 2D. That made me $10 happier. Don’t take my word for the 3D version as I have no idea…ah what the hell, I’ll voice my unfounded fact less opinion too, the 3D was craptacular! There I said it.  So what did I think of it and compared to the original? Read on….

Hey do you think saw us with our skirts down?

First off, the cast in this is great. You have Sam as stated who is always a commanding screen presence. He puts on his action boots here and goes for the throat. Two thumbs up. I heard he did a lot of his stunt work too which always helps the action shots. Next you have Liam Neeson as Zeus and Ralf Fiennes as his brother Hades. There’s some great acting right there. The story pretty much pivots on the two characters battle for dominance on the Olympian Gods and the mortals. Zeus feels betrayed by the mortals and wishes to teach them a lesson, Hades on the other hand wants to overthrow Zeus and make the humans his slaves. Caught in the struggle are Calibos (Jason Flemming) Perseuses father and the man who began the mortals war against the Gods and Io played by a cute Gemma Arterton, Who? I don’t know she was cute anyway. Io is a woman cursed with immortality for refusing to have rumpy pumpy sexy with a God. Go the bra burning! She pretty much helps and advises Perseus through his quest. Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) role is probably one of the biggest differences from the original movie. Where in the first she was the love interest and the driving force of Perseuses quest she is now just part and victim of the battle.

Oh uh hmmm, yes I see, yes. If we cut here here, lift here, stretch here I think we can make you a star. OH GOD! Your head fell off!

On it’s own the new Clash of the Titans makes a great action movie. There are battles and fights, monsters and stunts left right and centre. The CGI effects are good although the medusa was a little plastic in her facial features she was still pretty good. What this version of the movie did better than the original I thought was the concept of the group of Greek heroes gathering together to journey on an epic quest. Of course most don’t make it but that is part of it. Heroic, tragic and epic. They also included in the mix a Dijin named Sheikh Suleiman who was very cool.

Gemma Arterton likes Chocolate...I hope that's chocolate.

Where it lacked from the original was in depth of story. Where in the first we saw more of Andromeda’s plight, Caliboses back story and the bickering between the Gods, this has mostly been flushed out for a smoother ride. It’s not terrible as it does make the ride quicker but still you kind feel like you wanted a little more.

Halloz littlz peoplez

So overall I’d have to say I enjoyed the new version. It had good pace, lacking in some areas but a fun ride. I give it a 8/10.

Raptors Short Shorts:

Paranormal Activity:

I sat down to watch this in the dark and alone as instructed by Gavor. Congratulations, it creeped me out for the rest of the night. Stupid movie go bang now! The character of Micha annoyed the crap out of me. Here is Katie telling him that bad shits going to happen and it’s been happening to her all her life but no he decides to be a macho duchebag and “handle himself”...er it himself.  Anyway. Idiot.  When someone says we can get you a demonologist specialist to help you, you say yes thanks sir would you like me to bend over now. Anyway, still pretty good for the creepiness. 7/10.

7^th Moon:

This one was really lack lustre and by the books not to mention getting the car bogged twice to get the movie started and the guys in white makeup playing the ghosts were really kind of dumb. Amy Smart was in it, that’s kind good right? Well yeah but she needed more kit off. All that agree say “I”…good then. I give this one a 5/10.

Raptor gets Ass Kicked

Well it’s been a few weeks since my last stellar post. I’ve been sick alright! You’re all so needy. Anyway now that I have recovered to some degree I’d like to tell you about the movie Kick Ass.

I think I farted in my suit

It start with the premise of why aren’t there more Superheroes in the world? Obviously anyone crazy guy could put on a cape and go do good. So based on this our inept hero Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) puts on a wet suit, grabs some fighting sticks and Kick Ass goes and gets himself stabbed and run over…on his first day out. After some surgery that involved a lot of reinforcing his broken bones and left him partially numb to pain he tries again managing to fight off some thugs who are beating up on a guy. This gets captured on film and suddenly Kick Ass is a celebrity. In the mean time his mundane persona is befriended by the cute Katie (Lyndsy Fonesca) who feels sorry for him for being beat up because he is gay. Wait what? It’s ok he rolls with this in the hopes of getting some tail later on.

Hit Girl: One Scary little kid.

Meanwhile two real super heroes and in the middle of taking down crime boss Frank D’amico (Mark Strong from Stardust). Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz) have been planning this since D’Amico framed Big Daddy in his cops days, sent him to prison and caused the death of his wife. Unfortunately D’Amico assumes that it’s Kick Ass who is taking out his men. This forces a team up between Big Daddy, Hit Girl and Kick Ass. Enter Frank D’Amicos son Chris (Played by the funny Christopher Mintz-Plasse) who plans to lure Kick Ass out into a trap masquerading as superhero Red Mist. From there everything goes crazy.

This movie grabbed my attention from the get go and the humour remains steady from the beginning to end. Now the violence. There is a tone of it and a lot of it coming from the psycho 11 year old Hit Girl. Man she is one scary little girl. The action is all grounded in reality, think of Batman style super heroes or maybe Punisher. No super powers as such but just 1337 skillz yo. Nicholas cage also goes off in one particular scene taking out a slew of bad guys which makes me almost forget the bad taste of Ghost Rider. Overall all the acting across the board is good and the script is tight with few dull moments at all.

The funny thing is that Kick Ass isn’t really the main Hero. He is the main character yes but as far as heroing is concerned he is really a Hero in training. So the movie is really a begging story such as Kick Ass Begins. It also means that Kick Ass is kind of relegated a lot to side kick. See what I did there. I also think there is going to be a few more chapters to this story too.

I give Kick ass an 8.5/10 for ass kicking super hero fun.

Raptor looks at Sin in the City

I’m a big fan of Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller. I remember when I heard this was in the works I was pretty excited. Just this week I watched it again and bam it’s still as cool as a glacier in a shot glass.

Rodriguez took Frank Millers graphic novels and literally transferred them to the big screen in a stylised, black and white and almost panel for panel in some instances. It’s beautifully rendered with splashes of colour that are used as highlights and focus points. It doesn’t skimp on the violence either with stabbings, shootings, severed heads and dismemberments.

Yes black and white makes us look cooler

The story is really 3.5 stories rolled into one. It starts with short story of “The customer is always right”, blink and you’ll miss it. We then get the first part of “That yellow bastard” about a hard boiled cop Harington (great job by Bruce Willis) who is tracking down a little girl who was kidnapped by raping paedophile/murder days before his retirement due to a heart condition.  Having cornered the perk Junior on a pier finds out he’s the son of some Big Wig and his parter steps in to try and stop him and cover up the fact. Harington takes care of his partner and puts a few bullets into Juniors crotch and hand for good measure. The next story “The Hard Goodbye” has Mickey Rourke who is almost unrecognisable as Marv a thug of a man who is framed for the murder of Goldie the one person who had ever shown him some compassion. So he begins a violent investigation that eventually leads to the Cardinal Roark (Rutger Hauer) who is hiding his secret, a cannibalistic killer Kevin played by unnervingly by Elijah Wood who feeds on the prostitutes of the city.

The red makes Jamie Kings boobies look perkier

We then move to the third story “The Big Fat Kill”. Tough guy Dwight (Clive Owen) gets involved with Jackie Boy (Benicio del Toro) and with Gail (Rosario Dawson) leader of the Old Town Prostitutes kill him and find out too late he is a cap. Trying to hide the body the wraith of the law descends upon them and they desperately try to figure a way out. The last story “That Yellow Bastard” Picks up from the second story 8 years later where we see Harington discovers that Nancy is now a 19yr old stripper (yes she is Jessica Alba and she is hoooot). Too late he finds out that Junior, who now looks like a yellow fatso has been following him to track down Nancy. Then he has to protect her and possibly with his life.

I want to be Jessica Albas horse

So there, those are the stories and the as you can see from above there is a really strong cast and they give a great performance. I loved the hard boiled pulp detective novels dialogue and the tongue and sarcastic humour peppered through out this. The stories link together seamlessly, with characters from earlier parts appearing in later ones or mentioned in some way which creates an overall continuity.

You'd better be paying me triple for this!

Some of the action and violence could be a little over the top, reality really is not grounded here and as much as I did love the dialogue a few times I even rolled my eyes but that was rarely.

In the end I just dug the style and flat out coolness of this movie. I give it an 8.5/10 with a bullet in the eye.

Raptor Goes Mad as a Hatter

I had been looking forward to Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland for some time and I have to say it did meet my expectations but did it exceed them? Well yes and no.

This is not the traditional Alice in Wonderland story but takes places a number of years later when Alice is set to be betrothed to some up himself lord. She panics and following the White Rabbit finds the hole to Wonder Land or Lower Land as it’s called in the movie. It seems it was foretold she would come back, slay the jabberwocky and save the realm from the red Queen. With the help of the Mad Hatter and he white queen she finds the courage to accept her destiny and face her fated foe. Roll tape.

I think I need to lock the doors to my house if these people showed up.

Alice in Wonderland boasts a huge cast. Alice is played by the pretty Mia Wasikowska who was born in Australia my home turf.  She plays Alice as a girl trying to find herself and confused by the reoccurring dreams of Wonderland. She really does play the heroin quite well with no pretentiousness at all and by the end I was really cheering for her to get that Jabberwocky. I think she is going to be an actress to look for if she keeps up her performances as she has in this movie.  Now to one of my favourite actors, Johnny Depp who was cast as the Mad Hatter, really who else would you cast? I liked what he did with the character, played as a bipolar mad man who wavers between a simpering tailor of hats to his alter ego a frighteningly psychotic Scotsman barely holding back his rage. This was further enhanced by the yellow contact lenses he wore through his portrayal. A nice touch was also the black that grew around his eyes as he swung further towards his more violent side. You could actually judge how much he was affected by the amount of black around his eyes. Others of note were the Red Queen played bitchingly by Helena Bonham Carter. That big head of hears really did tilt the world one more step towards madness, her courtesans even wore fake ears, noses or stomachs to appease her love of  um…big things. The Knave of Hearts, her consort and somewhat champion was played by the underrated Crispin Glover. Manipulative and power hungry, Crispin brought enough realism to the performance so that it didn’t appear cartoonish which could have easily happened. Also Anne Hathaway was great as the white queen, she played with with such cheek that it put a smile on my face...and she is hot which helps. What? Sorry zoned out.

Excuse me, I need to dress up as the white king for some cos-play.

The performances by all means were the strongest part of this movie. This was by no small part due to Tim Burtons immaculate direction who always seems to get the best out of the actors under his hand. He also gave the movie his stamp, with the stylised gothic elements mixed with flamboyant swaths of techocolour not to mention some macabre scenes such as the moat around the Red Queens castle filled with floating heads of those that had displeased her.

Oh god, the drugs! The faces, the little girl with the teeth!

Most of the SFX  were CGI generated but it was done really well. I watched this in 3D and it did look good but it probably wasn’t necessary. I would still recommend it without the 3D although it does draw you into battle scenes somewhat. Their were a multitude of creatures and denizens of Wonderland animated such as the Red queens guards, the talking animals, flowers etc but the two most prominent would have to have been the Bandersnatch a squat cat like creature with a shark tooth grin and the Jabberwocky who’s image I’ve always found to be bizarre. Here it’s not so much buck toothed as it is deadly predator. As a point of interest the Jabberwocky was voiced by Christopher Lee. How about that.

Alice in Wonderland wasn’t perfect. The story did meander at times in the middle and there was a stupid scene with a dance that Johnny Depp does at the end. Why God why? Anyway al minor notes. Really. I liked this film. I give it an 8/10.

Short Sharp Review:

Quickly, I also watched Richard Kellys’ The Box (Previously reviewed by the esteemed Gavor). What started off interestingly enough turned into a “what the fuck” pointless ending with a convoluted plot trying to explain the “what the fuck” ending. It could have been better but ah well. I’ll just put on Donny Darko. I gave this one 4/10.

The Book of Eli (2010)

In post nuclear America, half a generation has passed since the disaster and only the dwindling numbers of 'old-timers' recall life before the bombs dropped. One of these old-timers is Eli, a man with superlative combat and survival skills wandering the wastes (Denzel Washington). In his possession is a book, a book he reads every day and that he vows to transport somewhere. Somewhere a little vague and apparently inspired by God. Along the way he runs into a tin pot dictator, played by Gary Oldman, who wants the book for himself because it will grant him power over people with the power of  its words. Kind of scary. And yes, it's the bible. The last bible in existence actually after people went crazy and blamed all religions for the apocalypse - and rightfully so I imagine. So, in a nutshell, Eli claims a mandate from God to save the book that caused all the trouble in the first place.

On the evil side, Gary Oldman is the old-timer who understands religion's power to control people, and therefore represents the fundamental truth that no matter the best intentions of religious folk, there is an abundance of people out there ready to use religion for their own gain. The plot therefore sent mixed messages and annoyed the hell out of me. Meanwhile, the rest of the world no longer has religion and the people live tough, brutish lives. I'm pretty sure this was intentional. The unenlightened had few morals and some were on the way toward to bestial lives governed by pillage, rape and drunkenness.  Interpret that was you will.

In the end it boils down to this; Oldman gets his hands on the book after shooting Washington in the stomach - though this is after Washington kills pretty much all of Oldman's private thug army. Washington is then saved by a female hanger-on whose role in the film probably read 'look pretty, rescue Washington'. Oldman then discovers the bible is in Braille and so we're led to believe that Washington's character, Eli, was blind. Or at least I think we are, it's quite confusing. He acts like a man who can see most of the time (such as when he's looking over a cliff edge and watches a couple being attacked and raped by members of Oldman's gang), but the big finale with the braille bible thing seems to suggest he is blind. Personally, I don't think he was. If I'm wrong they handled it incredibly badly so it made no sense, added nothing spectacular to the ending and generally brought the overall tone of the movie down. 

Meanwhile in Japan, a new breed of superhero emerged to save the people of earth...

Oldman of course cannot read the bible and then dies. Washington escapes to Alcatraz with his young poontang and then dictates the entire bible to Malcolm McDowell, the leader of an institution dedicated to collecting what they can from the ruins and kick-starting all of civilisation again. Naturally, only the Americans can achieve this. Washington then dies and the poontang wanders off to do fuck knows what. By this time I'd lost interest in the quasi-religious bunkum and prepubescent philosophy, so I kind of didn't watch the last 10 minutes properly. The institute then prints the bible according to Eli whereupon they take it to a book full of books and put it on a shelf with a bunch of other religious texts. A fitting place for it really, just one book among many.

I'm not sure if my feelings for the movie came across in that little synopsis so let me state it clearly - this movie was rubbish. Denzel Washington as Eli gave a passable performance, especially in the first 30 or so minutes when we see him journey across the wastes alone. Everyone else was average to mediocre, though the cookie cutter characters must have made life difficult for them. After that initial 30 minutes of interest the rest of the movie was as stated above, religious and pseudo-philosophical. Some people died, a book was sought and pretty much all the main characters died. A great set up and well constructed visuals, wasted on a muddled story so full of holes it leaked the credibility right out by the 60 minute mark.

I'll give this one two scores; 2/10 if Eli is blind, otherwise 4/10. At the least the beginning was entertaining.

Who's Watching Raptor

With so many super hero movies out at the moment it’s rare to see one with breadth and depth that Watchmen brings. Director Zack Snyder of 300 fame has taken the true spirit of the Allen Moore penned comic book and brought it to screen with his own kinetic and stylised er…style.

It starts off with the death of the Comedian, who is one of my favourite characters I’ve decided. This starts a search for the killer by a vigilante called Rorschach (My other favourite character) which cascades into a wide spread plot to bring about world peace but in a very immoral way which begs the question. Do the ends justify the means? I truly was torn at the end of the film with this exact question.  Is killing a million people to save several billion ok? I could see the point and I could see they why but even I had a hard time justifying it and I guess that’s the crux of it. It’s not an easy decision and most people of moral values would say no it doesn’t but then isn’t it just as morale to save so many…well kind of.

Thuck it in girls! Let the thpandex do its thing.

Now as mentioned before the Comedian, played by  Jeffrey Dean Morgan who you may have seen in the series Supernatural, was the epitome of the Anti-Hero. He performs acts which may be considered heroic or deplorable but all in the name of his country and time after time he is forgiven because of it.  He drips sarcasm and to paraphrase he is a parody of mankind. We see his actions and relationships with the other characters in flashbacks which are used a lot to fill in the plot and background of each of the characters. Laughing while firing a flame thrower at the Vietnamese we finally see him guilt ridden and confessing to one of his old enemies.  Rorschach is another stellar performance by Jackie Early Haley . He plays a gruff, hardnosed mask wearing detective type who sees everything in black and white. There is no grey. The good are there to be protected and the bad to be condemned to hell.  Even at the bitter conclusion he stands firm on his beliefs even to his detriment. He is almost the purist Hero, a violent crazy hero but still a hero. Dr. Manhattan, portrayed by Billy Crudup, is the most powerful naked blue man on the planet. He is so far removed from humans that he is loosing what little humanity he has left and his part shows a lot of his struggle with it. Other notables are Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson) who is practically your Clark Kent crossed with batman superhero who along with Silk Spectre (A very cute Malin Akerman) are swept up in the plot. Finally Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) the smartest man in the world, is a very cool Super hero/villain.

I can’t fault the performances of any of the main characters. They were all quite strong and each had there hearts in their roles and brought their A games to characters that could have come out quite plastic and cliché instead became mutli-faceted which in part was also due to the strong script.

Because the movie spand several generations of superheroes the soundtrack fit this perfectly with song by Bob Dylan to David Bowie and other similar musicians form the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. Did I mention that the story unfolds in the 80s? Oh yes, there is spandex galore as well as naked blue penis….you’ll see.

Now special FX and CGI wise I loved what Zack Snyder has done. The cinematography was beautiful and he did have a number of his signature slow-mo scenes alla 300 but not to the same degree I’d have to say. It also doesn’t hold back on the violence. Believe me this is not a kids movie. With arms breaking, bodies exploding, hands cut off and multiple shootings this a graphic novel brought to a movie and I do mean graphic.

The movie does drag in parts and the back and forth flashbacks can be confusing to some but these were all minor details. To me this was what a super hero movie should be, fleshed out characters, a solid thought out and complex plot along with lots of kerpow and bang in the eye. Oh yeah spandex too. I give this a 9/10.

Bad Lieutenant - not a remake (2009)

Last night I had the pleasure of watching Bad Lieutenant, not the original but also not a remake - mostly. Sure, it's about a drug addicted cop who does things his way -  accepts drugs and sex as bribes, steals from the property room and shacks up with a hooker - but only some of those elements are in the original and if the director of the flick says this wasn't intended as a remake, then that's good enough for me.

This is pretty much the expression he wears all movie

This movie is about a cop (Nicholas Cage in a rare good performance) with a bad back who takes a lot of drugs to deal with the pain - or at least that's his easy excuse for being consistently fucked up on coke, painkillers, crack etc. The great thing about this movie is that he remains the same character from beginning to end, fucking things up, making them right and putting the bad guys away. There were two ways I interpreted the ending; first it could be a drug induced dream and secondly it was the real deal. As shown, instead of being caught out and learning from his mistakes, he solves all his problems through the judicious use of drugs and know-how and in the end he's cruising along in his usual drug induced haze.

You can consider the ending real or a crack pipe dream, it's never clearly stated and the viewer is left to their own discretion. I liked it, it wasn't your usual bullshit happy ending.All things considered I believe the ending was real, if a bit jokey. Cage's character went on to feign sobriety in front of his ex-junkie ex-hooker wife as well as his recovered alcoholic dad and step-mum. These were the only people who knew or had an inkling of his secret life before they reformed, and he simply added them to the list of people he lies too. There's a glimmer of redemption in the final scene but that's how it stays. Just a possibility, then the credits roll.As a whole movie I think this worked. Ignore the naysayers clinging to their original cult classic (which I've never seen), this is a similar movie with a different story and worthy of viewing in its own right. Some of the cinematography was odd but I forgive that for the way the rest of the story was so well told, shot and wrapped up.

Snorting coke off your hand in a dimly lit toilet never played out so good - 7/10

ps. Still no nudie pics, none of the women in this movie appear to have removed more than an overcoat in their movie career. Sorry.

Zatoichi (2003)

Look at my stick, it's a big ol stick. STAB!

Zatoichi, is a remake of the popular and long running series set in the Edo period of Japan's history about a blind Japanese swordsman. The movies began in the 60s and a TV series of over 100 episodes was also produced in the 70s. All up there are around 26 movies plus a few knock-offs like the American made Blind Fury. This particular incarnation is the first Zatoichi made since 1989 and features a far bigger budget than any of the previous movies. The director is also the main character and one of the editors, so that was one way to cut costs. But enough of the history, was it any good? Well, unlike many Japanese/Korean/Chinese martial arts films, the answer for me is a pretty confident yes.

The film begins with a couple of murders then introduces the main character - Zatoichi - followed by the bad guys made up of two rival gangs, then a few good guys to round out the cast. Among the good guys are a middle-aged peasant woman, her mostly useless nephew, a Geisha woman, her brother (disguised as a Geisha) and a motley collection of others featuring the crazy next door neighbor who runs around in his underwear carrying out his version of samurai training. The movie bounces between several main locations; a bar, the peasant womans house, a gambling den, the streets of the town, various flashbacks - and it all feels genuine. That coming from a man who has never been to Edo period Japan, but as far as movie sets go they were convincing.

The story revolves around the Geisha woman, her brother and their quest for vengeance. A gang called the rotting ropes murdered their parents in a paper-home invasion several years back, and ever since they've travelled the land disguised as Geisha entertainers, tracking down gang members and killing them. The siblings arrive in town and meet Zatoichi and the nephew. As the story progresses they discover one of the warring gangs in town is the rotting ropes, and so hatch a plot of murder and dismemberment. Zatoichi goes on to kill a lot of people including all the men in the gambling den when he catches them cheating, and it's wrapped up at the end with a nice long dance number. Yes, a dance number.

For all its funny little idiosyncracies (synchronised field ploughing music, overwrought spurts of blood?), Zatoichi is a serious film about a hardcore dude who kills every motherfucker in the room while at the same time being completely blind. What I really appreciated about the fighting was its brevity. A fighter won or lost in the first 5 seconds, none of this back and forth rubbish, because that's pretty much how real sword fighting worked.

I found the music understated but well matched to each scene and character. The acting was excellent, as I almost always find in Japanese cinema (except Guitar Wolf, but that's a different kind of movie altogether). If I had to complain about anything it would be a few little plot holes and perhaps the length - it was just a touch too long. If anyone can explain why the brother and sister initially tried to kill Zatoichi and the nephew, it would fill in a big plot hole for me.

8.5/10 - Good fun cinema from the far east (or near north for me in Australia). Lot's of swords, plenty of killing, a little philosophy. Oh and no wire fighting. Recommended.

Raptor Solves a Mystery

Welcome back all. Yes I know it’s been a while and I will make no excuses other than it was all Gavors fault for moving back into my state. Pfff.

So have you ever heard of a movies that looks like it will be good and someone then tells you it was good then when you get there and watch it it’s all “OMFG! That was the best movie ever!” Well probably not the best movie ever but it was pretty good.

I'm not sure what your doing behind me Watson, but I'd prefer you put the stick down.

What the hell am I talking about? Could I stop waffling and get on with it? Fine! It was Sherlock Holmes. Why was it so good? Well allow me to elaborate.

Before anything and everything Robert Downey Junior and Jude Law who play Sherlock and Watson respectively. They were the perfect casting for this movie. The buddy humor and banter between these two waked off sharper than a nerd with a full set of sharpened pencils in his pocket holder. I mean I was just waiting for Laws next droll quip or Robert Downey’s outrageous lines defending his eccentric actions. Drug testing on his dog anyone? With these two and a strong character based script with it’s carefully crafted dialogue the pieces were there and I was on the roller coaster and loving every minute of it.

Also along with these two was a good bad guy, Mark Strong who I last watched in Stardust plays Lord Blackwood a sinister wood be king of the world via so called sorceress arts and believe me he is quite evil in this. The two love interests were played by Rachel McAdams and Kelly Reilly and while both gave adequate performances I have to say Downey and Law man.

Now the best part of any Sherlock Holmes film is the who and how done its! This film will have you guessing to the end on how the magical murders where performed and other little tricks. You also get Holmes giving you some interesting fighting tips in slow motion CSI style as precursor to his execution of them which were great to watch. Of course everything gets explained in the end as all good detective movies should and also with a glimpse at the next villain as well. Yes there will be a next movie, I am more than 100% certain of that.

The cinematography was beautiful and setting of 1800s London was very authentic down to the clothes at least to my unprofessional eye. Surprisingly this was directed by Guy Ritchie of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch fame. Looking back you can see his style splattered across Sherlock Holmes from the editing to the action money shots.

Now any down sides? I have no idea; I was too busy enjoying the ride. This is one of the best buddy/action/comedy/mystery films to come out in a long time. I give this was a serious 8.5/10.

Raptor Runs with the Wild Things

I admit that that it was more nostalgia more than anything else having read Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak's in my kiddy years that I wanted to watch the movie of the same name. I didn’t know what to expect as the book itself was very simple and director and screen play writer Spike Jones would have to do some padding to create, well a complete story. I have to say he did a pretty good job of doing so and bringing to the screen an endearing story about growing up and the relationships involved.

Oh, you scratched the tree! And what!? You broke that other one. Why would you do that?

In a suburban home Max played by a likeable Max Records (what the?) is feeling left out. His sister is more interested with her friends and his single mum is snowed under with work and trying to make nice with her boyfriend. On the other side, Max is a little shit. Yes he is a spoilt brat and yes you probably want to slap him one for his selfish little antics, just like 90% of kids of around that age (8 or 9 maybe). He then throws a hissy fit and runs off into the nearby creak where he finds a boat that takes him to an island. There he meets the various Wild Things like Carol voiced by James Gandolfini, from the Sopranos fame, who takes a liking to him since he is feeling deserted by KW who he has a child like infatuation/friendship with. There’s also the practical Ira, the bitchy Judith, happy go lucky Douglas and the picked and ignored on Alexander. By lying to the child like Wild Things Max is declared their king and will make them all happy. At first things go well but soon Maxes lies begin to unravel as the Wild Things begin to vie for his attention. Jealousies rise and feeling are hurt and Max comes to terms with the fact that he isn’t a king but just a boy who wants to be with his family.

I really liked the feel of this movie. It was filmed with a granny 60/70s dream like quality with some great scenes drenched in dust filtered sunlight which looks fantastic and other framed so beautifully you’d thing they were a canvas come to life. Adding to this is the music score. Put together by Karen Orzolek from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Carter Burwell the music is so sickingly cheery and joyful with Karen and a choir of kids singing you can’t help but like it. The stand out for me was All is Love which had a big part in setting the tone for me in the movie.

I'm assuming that if he's wearing his wolf outfit he's going to be shitting in the woods

The Wild things were masterworks of puppetry and CGI. I was really hard pressed to see where the facial CGI ended and the puppetry began. This is one spot where I could say the FX didn’t take you out of the movie but formed a solid basis for the characters to work from. When a Wild Thing was sad you believed they were sad or happy. This was especially prevalent in the expressive Carol who was one of the moving forces in the story line. Having said that, if you took all the puppetry and CGI away it would still be would a good character based story, although hiding a kid in your mouth wouldn’t quite make sense.

There were points in the film were I was kind of expecting more but couldn’t quite figure what I wanted. If it was more from Max or something deeper in the Wild Things I couldn’t tell you. In the end I walked away satisfied and yes with that little nostalgic smile on my face. I give this one an 8/10.  For all with a childs heart and a wild spirit I say to you Awrooooooooooo!!