Raptor goes a little Gozu

You know Japanese make some really weird ass films. Not to say that the rest of the world isn’t capable but well theirs are all the weirder mainly because they are crazy Japanese.

This guy fails at applying sun screan

Gozu is a film directed by Takashi Miike the guy who did the Master of Horrors episode Imprint that caused a little controversy, I guess who just didn’t want to give up here.

Hello, my name is fred and when I'm at home I like to dance in my undies.

The story stars with two brothers, Minami and older brother Ozaki, who are part of a Yakuza gang. When Ozaki starts to go a little crazy by beating up Yakuza attack Chihuahuas, the head boss orders Minami to get rid of him at the Junkyard. So along the way Ozaki dies and Minami looses his body. So he begins a search to find his brother and comes across more weirdness like a guy with half the pigment missing from his face who gives him a hand or a hotel run by a brother and sister who can speak to the spirits. The Sister also has a tendency to “Milk” herself which seems to tie in with a cow headed daemon. The daemon during a possible dream gives him a letter that directs him back to the junkyard where he finds that his brother has been compacted and the proof is his flattened skin. It’s at this time a girl rocks up saying that she is his brother. He takes her back to the yakuza boss who tries get amorous with her. Oh did I mention the boss can only get it off by placing the handle of soup ladle up his butt? Well there you go. So Minami steps in and stops him with lets say some electrocution involving said soup ladle. Ouch. Finally it all ends with Minami and the girl having sex a hand coming out of her crotch and latching onto his penis and then the girl giving birth to his brother fully grown…yeah seems like she can stretch.

Wave to the cameras!

What can I say, this movie just drew me in mainly due to what the fuck factor, you know that thing where you brain doesn’t quite register what the hells going on but you still want to know what happens next. The acting was pretty good as far as I could tell. They were speaking Japanese. The effects were nothing spectacular although well done. The daemon cow scene was creepy and the birth scene well just ouch really, ouch. Don’t worry the girl was fine after it and they all walked off happy.

I give this a 7/10 mainly for the weirdness. Oh yes for the weirdness.

Some babies are a little late coming out but this is ridiculous.

Getting Some Roasted Poultrygeist

So here I am, getting all annoyed that Gavor has posted nuddy screen caps of movies and while I’ve stuck to…well weak sauce play time pics so I thought what movie can I review that would bring the elements of Horror, Nudity, grossness and musical all into one? Then I chose the Trauma movie Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. Now a warning to our more sensitive readers, first of all what the fuck are you doing on this site if you are, second this movie is not for everyone but if you don’t mind your movie with gross out humour, crazy gore gags,  B-Grade SFX , nudity and musical numbers, and really who doesn’t, then this movies is for you.

Wendy, have you shaved your chest?

Poultrygeist is directed by Lloyd Kaufman who has directed other Trauma movies such as Toxic Avenger and stared in more B grade films than I can point a voodoo stick at.  He also appears in the film as the older Arbie. The two stars of the movie are played with great energy by Jason Yachanin as Arbie our love struck hero and the very cute Kate Graham as Wendy the love interest turned experimentally lesbian. All the acting in her is very tongue in cheek and while not Oscar material it kept getting a laugh out of me. It really felt like I was watching some Armature Theatre company put on a comedy but because everyone was having so much fun doing it you just couldn’t help but be pulled in by it all.

Yes its Michael Jackson. Sorry I couldn't resist.

Other notable performances were Robin Watkins as General Lee Roy the unscrupulous owner of the American Chicken Bunker franchise and Joshua Olatunde as Denny the downtrodden African American store manager trying to make a mark for himself in this white mans world, of course he employs Carl Jr, played by Caleb Emerson, a bigoted yokel with a chicken fetish…go figure.

And now I shall make her skirt dissapear.

The story starts when an America Chicken Bunker is built over an Indian Burial ground which then brings about the curse of Chicken Dead. What first begins with a possessed chicken carcass soon turns into a gory outbreak of the Chicken Dead and this lets Lloyd Kaufman run loose with the toilet humour and gross out sight gags such as a fat guy with explosive Diarrhea painting the toilet walls or how about implants used  for a bread fillets. Meanwhile Arbie tries to win back the love of his life Wendy by getting a job at the one place that she has been protesting against for it abuse of chickens. As you can see Arbie isn’t the smartest sardine in the can. So when the shit hits the fan it’s up to Ardie and company to save the day and stop the Chicken Dead by finding their one weakness.

Yes she is cute and a lesbian.

Now you’re saying “Raptor that’s all well and good but what makes this so special?” and I would say “Well, dick that can’t help but point out the flaws in my movie review it would be the nudity but more importantly it’s the music”. Yes that’s right; this is a musical but what kind of musical. Well I’d have to say if you’d ever seen the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer then that’s probably the closest I could give and an example. The "Slow Fast Food Love" is a ballad sung by Ardie and Wendy and more importantly with Wendy half naked and a number of other naked girls but my favorite would probably be the Irish like jig by young and old Ardie titled Longing to Live/Waiting to Die".

This movie is full of flaws but the lead casts are so likeable and filled with stupid vigor that I have to give this one 7.5/10 and now lets roll the screen shots.